The only spooky childhood experience I can remember was whilst on holiday in my Nan’s caravan at Clacton. I was in bed when felt ‘someone’ very heavy sit on the end of my bed, I know they must have been heavy as the area where they sat went down quite a way. For some reason I just knew it wasn’t either of my parents or another family member but I was too frightened to look to see who it was, so I kept my eyes tight shut and hoped they would go away. I didn't feel them get up so I must have fallen asleep.

I cannot recall anything else that would get me interested in spiritual matters but I do remember watching Doris Stokes on TV and being mesmerised by what she was doing. I believed in survival after death but had not seen anyone giving messages from those who had passed away, I didn't even know it was possible. Watching the comfort she gave to those in the audience was really amazing and found it very natural and also very moving.

In the late 80’s I visited a tarot card reader with a friend. The lady we visited was a medium it seemed also as she gave me information that could only have come from my Nan, who was in spirit. This lady asked me if I knew that I had healing hands, no I didn’t but thought it was a nice thing for her to say. I didn’t really understand what she meant so I thought no more of it but people at work often asked me to rub their shoulders when they were tense because if felt nice they told me.

Like most of people, I get ‘gut' feelings about things, for example me and Denise had booked a holiday flight over the phone but at the time of booking I had a bad feeling about it for some reason. On the way to the airport, my stomach was in knots and I had a sick feeling but I just put it down to the fact that I am none too keen on flying. When we arrived to check in, we were told our names were not on the list of passengers booked for that flight. It turned out that the business had gone bust and our booking was never confirmed with the airline. Luckily, we managed to get another flight with the same airline later in the day.

My next ‘knot in the stomach’ experience involved my Nan’s last husband (she was married 4 times!), who had moved in with my parents following Nan's passing. I was visiting Mum one day and he had gone to have a bath, after a while I had an overwhelming sense that something was very wrong. Mum called him but there wasn't a response so she went up to find that he had sat down on the little chair after getting himself dressed and died from a heart attack.

On 15th December 2000 I had a phone call at work to say Dad had collapsed and had been rushed to hospital, a colleague immediately drove me to the hospital. About half way there it felt like my stomach had been completely wrenched out and I don't know why, but I just knew Dad had gone. When we arrived, they took me to a little side room, a nurse came in and I said ‘He’s gone hasn’t he?’ she nodded her head and said ‘Yes, I’m so sorry’.

After Dad’s passing, I moved back home to take care of Mum who was very ill. A few days before Dad's funeral I was taking some rubbish out to the bin when I just ‘felt’ something as I went past a particular shrub in the garden that Dad liked. I came back into the house and said to Mum ‘Dad’s in the garden’. I have no idea why I said that but that was how it felt to me. I had a strong feeling he wouldn't be too far away as the 3 of us were very close, but I couldn't say why I had that feeling, I just did. The lamp by where he used to sit would flicker every so often and I just knew he was still around.

Sadly, a few weeks after Dad left, Mum passed. The day before she did she said ‘He wants he own way’, ‘Who?’ I said, ‘Him’ was her reply. I am certain that ‘him’ was Dad telling Mum that is it time to leave. I knew she was reluctant to leave me but she was deteriorating so fast, especially after Dad died. Mum passed early the next morning, but had waited until I told her that she is not to worry about me and it's OK for her to go and be with Dad, he was waiting for her. Even now, I could not explain why, but it felt like it was meant to happen that way. To lose my parents so close together was very traumatic, but to me it felt that that hadn't really gone. The strangest thing is that a few months before Dad collapsed, I had a thought that this would happen but didn't think it would happen so soon and like it did. Maybe I was being prepared for it.

I can often smell Dad’s tobacco and feel my Mum 'touching' my check every now and then. A year or so ago, I was cutting some branches off a climbing rose which had particularly vicious thorns, a couple of which embedded themselves in my head and really hurt. That night, ‘someone’ was rubbing the exact same spot where the thorns had dug in, I believe that someone was Mum. A beautiful thing happened a day after each of my parents passed, I had just gone to bed and I felt a tiny kiss on the tip of my nose.  I believe that was them saying goodbye and they will always love me.

A few months later, I woke up suddenly after having a really vivid dream in which I had been taken to see and speak to them both. I don't know who it was that took me as I never saw his face, but can describe in detail what he was wearing. It was so real that even now I can still remember every single moment of that dream. Now I wonder if it was a dream I had or whether I did actually visit them. They both looked wonderful, Mum especially as she had been so ill before she passed, in fact, she didn't resemble the Mum I remember when she passed. It was great to see how wonderful she was looking again, back to how she was before she became ill. I believe that visit was arranged to show me that they were both OK and very happy where they were and I should be happy for them too and that it's time for me to get on with my life.