MARCH 2005…

I have had the singularly most wonderful and amazing weekend of my life. Truly life altering and to be perfectly honest I'm still feeling rather strange so please forgive me if I either babble or trail off somewhere!!

I spent the weekend with my dear friend Pat in Eastbourne on our very first Avalon Development weekend. Joining about 70 other people all gathered for the soul purpose of developing psychic and mediumship skills.  Nobody told me I was going to be QUITE so tired though! I certainly did not realise how much could possible fit in to one single day - let alone 48 hours!

I found Karen again (well she found me to be truthful) who I’d met briefly at the Members Day and we sat with her and Jan (Earth, Wind and Fire) at mealtimes throughout the weekend.  What a lot I learnt just from those two ladies in-between classes and tutorials!  That alone would have been enough on any other weekend with the bonus of making 2 new friends which I am sure I have made for life! 

I was in the beginners group for workgroups which were scheduled several times a day and at last learnt to meditate properly which is a first. However I felt that we did too much of the same kind of thing when we were in the workgroups and so I did get both exhausted and frankly a bit bored by the last session on the Monday. I wanted to try so many different things but realise I have to start at the bottom and take on step at a time.  Must learn patience, absolutely must learn patience.

HOWEVER - I went to Tony’s Trance Demo on the Friday evening and that really blew me away. I had hoped to see this on the journey down as for some reason I am fascinated by this form of mediumship.  Pat decided to take one of the other options (it is really hard to chose when you want to know so much like we do!)

I had expected that we were just going to watch him but he did a chat and then led us all into a meditation to bring our guides closer and see if we could feel their presence! Of course, for someone who has never done anything like that I did not get to communicate, but I was lost in the meditation and I really did feel something draw closer to me and a tightness across my cheeks and a tickle in my throat - it felt really nice and I would love to do that again although I know its only for people who are really experienced

Then we got to watch the man himself and I just sat there with my jaw on the damn floor. I kept craning my neck closer and blinking my eyes to check I was seeing what I thought I was seeing!!!!! I saw his face change and then I thought he had opened his eyes as he turned his head round as if to look at everyone. However I was sat next to the lovely Marlene who was overseeing the session and she told me to keep looking as it was spirit eyes I could see, not Tony’s eyes and low and behold - I saw it!!!!!!

It was as if his face was flicking - one second was Tony and the other someone else. I could see his eyes closed and then these other ones looking at you and the mouth moving but his not!!! Then his throat starting clicking and Marlene said that he is going to speak - we had been told he may not due to the time restrictions on this particular session.  It was only short - I cant even remember now exactly what was said my eyes were watering so much! Something like Hello - welcome to all you little ones - it is lovely to see you all here or something like that! It was the most fantastic thing - it clearly was not Tony's voice - not even a remote chance of it being so - it sounded VERY old and orientalish and he kept making these very weird clicks. Marlene said it was Zintar. When he came round - he was clearly wiped out - just said thank you and we left.

I am now completely hooked and want to do that myself. Trouble is for the rest of the weekend - I did not make any of what I consider to be mediumistic connections - so I probably wont be able to do it.

 Later that same First half day (!) I went to a Hypnotherapy thing with Sue Smith - she read a confidence meditation - that was good but I wish I had done Remote Viewing now with Marlene as later found I was quite good at that! I just hate it when they make you chose what to do!!!

Saturday after lunch did Preparation and Presentation of Mediumship with Tony followed by a demo with Sue Smith. What a fascinating speaker that man is - I could just listen to him for hours and hours. Quite the most marvellous man.

The evening was Psychic Investigators which was my second favourite part after watching the Trance. We broke up into mixed groups (My chum got chosen by Tony as a Leader (I told her she would be!) and we went into different rooms with different challenges.

The first room was a picture on the wall of a lady and we had to say what you would pick up if she came to you for a reading. I found it quite hard as there were 10 in our group and when people keep shouting out different things you find yourself considering their comments instead of going with your gut instinct. I did however pick up she was a chemist which was right - but everyone kept saying she was sad and very ill and it confused me.

Second room was a Cold case with Tony - which was very interesting - was one of the cases he has been asked to work on from a Mother that came to a demo - he is missing and is presumed dead. WE had to look at news coverage, and newspaper clippings - then we went into a meditation and Tony told us to stand behind the boy in a field and tell him what we saw. That was good. I saw a man with a shot gun in a barber type jacket standing on the edge of a field in some bushes. I felt he had been killed but not shot - and that the taunting had gone too far and that maybe he had been killed by mistake but it had been covered up by some accomplices - from a farmers group! Probably nothing like what happens but again people were all calling out on a similar line. Then he told us what he had got so far and he will consider it all before going back to the mother and then maybe doing further investigations. That was really exciting because one day we may find out what actually happened to the young man

The next room was with Sue Smith - there were six pictures of faces all blanked out except the eyes - we had to say whether dead or alive, male or female and any other characteristics. Didn't like that as some of the pics were very small and covered in sellotape - I recognised David Beckham but the various opinions again made it hard to focus.

Next was a White Noise experiment were we had to go in a room and talk very low amongst ourselves whilst the tape played for 5 mins - it kept turning itself off but when it was played back there was definite EVP - "We're Here" a couple of times "I called you" "Hello" "Closer" Several sighs - clear as day - no-one had to decipher - if I had not been there myself - I would never have believed it!!!

My eyes just ran and ran and in the end I found it a bit freaky. Glad I heard it as usually when you see it on the TV - it is a digital recording which is played back at slower speed and you are told what these odd noises are supposed to say and you kind of recognise the sound.  But this was a ropey old recorder - the voices were clear and easily decipherable!!!! The more I thought about it the more it freaked me out to be honest. It felt horrible in the room anyway and even thinking about it now I am going cold. That whole downstairs corridor was horrid and a couple of times whilst we were waiting to go into other rooms - I felt a really cold breeze blast past and like electric shocks across my head - down my neck and spine. it MUST have been a spirit encounter - could be nothing else. I was VERY pleased to get back upstairs.

I am very glad I heard those things but I never want to do it again! and certainly will never to it anywhere other than at Seminars. NEVER in my own home - not on your nelly!  Some of the others went back later that night and they have tapes of people making love - groans, a baby crying and other stuff - I did not want any part of that - I thought it was messing with the wrong kinds of spirits.

Hidden Emotions was another challenge where words were tucked into envelopes - I got nothing and again - everyone has different opinions - could not see the point. Maybe if I did it on my own it would be different.

Next room was Remote Viewing with Marlene - we were given an OS map and had to say what was at the site of the red cross. I got “WELL” straight away before anyone else started and then all the ideas kept getting shouted out again - everything from churches to barns to god knows what. I kept trying and kept insisting to myself it was round and held water - must be a well. Anyway - when we found out later in the evening it was a round metal silvery water tower on stilts - never seen a round one like that before - but I reckoned that I could count that as a hit as I could not compute anything else! Is that OK???

The Psychometry I was rubbish at – there were about 7 items belonging to the tutors and the matching photos and we had to match them up.  I was totally 100% convinced that a doggy key ring type thing was Stuart’s and that the bracelet belonged to Tony when I used my pendulum - it turned out they were – but again everyone kept putting objects on any picture then moving them all round randomly so in the end you can never come to a unanimous decision and you doubt your own first impressions. However my one was right and I would have like to have tried then all on my own.

Our team came third – but the whole evening had been mighty good fun and I felt a lot better when I had actually picked SOMETHING up! We did not finish till nearly 10.30 and I was so exhausted, I could hardly function at all.  Pat and I went upstairs for a cuppa and to discuss what had happened that day whilst others stayed up partying!  Feeling my age now!!!

However, couldn’t sleep once I had put the lights out as kept thinking about the bloody voices!!! but never mind!

Next morning did Psychic Work with Tony "Friend or Foe" when we had to look at 6 whole faces and pick up things about them.  I was quite pleased with my success rate with that one (for a beginner) Although I was a little out with the 6th one which was a friend of Tony’s in the end - but I did say he did not like women (!) and was abused as a child (?) he is a fledgling medium - my friend however wanted him down as a murderer so I was closer than most.

With the first one I saw bodies being chopped up and I thought eaten (!) but did turn out he was a mass murderer who carved up many people. The second one I took to be an American killer - church goer and killed children or husband - she had killed her 5 kids and was American - Hurrah!

The third one turned out to Oscar Schindler - was a really old photo and I could not see his eyes but picked up a Doctor and an orphanage which Tony said was well done as that was a good interpretation of the things he did to protect the people working for him.

No 4 I picked up as a Political/campaigner and she was a Nobel peace prize winner so that was not bad. THe 5th really confused me - my friend immediately said he was lovely. I was torn and could not get it - just thought he was a father and was Welsh - I wavered from thinking he was OK - to something not being at all right. Turned out he is in prison for murdering his entire family BUT - he has always protested his innocence even to this day and they think that maybe something some more evidence will come through. He WAS Welsh! Hurrah. So I was quite pleased seeing as that was my first time. And will definitely work on that kind if thing - I have always been good at reading people but thought that everyone could do that naturally. Turns out they cant!

That cheered me up considerably as by that time I was thinking that although I was enjoying myself - I had not heard or seen spirit and was not able to glean messages from or for anyone. Except a thank you from my friends black cat with a red collar - with a picture of a tigers face - his name! Apart from that zilch!

So guess I will never have any mediumistic skills so my wanting to do trance is out of the window. Still I am sure I can develop my psychic stuff - I guess that will be useful to someone at some point.  Hope so anyway.

After the Faces - we had to split up into 2's and try to glean info psychically - I was picked by Vicky Steadman who is in Tony’s group - she was lovely and I would love to see her to finish off the reading!  We were only supposed to find out about Parents/siblings, carers and finance but she was off on a reading - wont go into that all now - but really wish we had longer. I hardly had any time and so only got a couple of things with her - and think I as trying too hard after getting such marvellous stuff from her although she did struggle to start with as she said I was blocking and had a shield up!!!!

After the break we got split again into mixed groups with different tutors which was great - I went with Debbie Dean – Patti got picked to go with Tony and for a fleetingly moment was jealous but then realised later that I was sure meant to be where I had been - Debbies interests/energies were very much on my wavelength and I would like to be in her groups if I go back again!

We split up again and did Flower readings after picking a card. My partner was very good and got me off to a tee - I started blubbing - and did not stop for most of the rest of the day! I started babbling about all kinds of stuff - don’t know where that came from and bought up some odd stuff about her looking for her Mum although she had one and I was right apparently as she had a Mum but was looking for something more - someone to nurture her. Also picked up that her life had changed and she was learning stuff and going from strength to strength - each new discovery leading to whole new worlds (!) and this has all happened in the last 4 years and turned out I was spot on  - I wont go into personal details that she shared with me of course, but I was pleased that at least she took a couple of things that she could relate to and that was overwhelming to actually get something when I thought I had flunked out!

SO - apart from making some lovely new friends - knowing that I will never make a medium but can now meditate successfully and have a talent for psychic stuff but not psychometry!!!, deciding that I have re-decided I would like to learn hypnotherapy and had someone confirm that I will have a holistic shop - my one dream - I shall now act as if I am going to get one and put all the work in - I shall make a life map and make it happen - ONE day!

I know I want to do trance mediumship but of course I wont ever be able to do that if I cant do medium stuff!!! I think I would make a good philosopher/rabbit on for England - so maybe I could write a book!  I also want to develop Remote Viewing and at long last join a circle and will work hard to try and find one although I am not sure about joining a spiritualist church.

Apart from that I got nothing out of the weekend  (LOL) and I have already booked for October just to make sure I really am wasting my time! If there are no places left - I really will take up rug making as someone is clearly trying to tell me something!!!

I really don’t have the right words to describe how I feel quite enough!  I feel like I have been so privileged to see the things I have seen and meet the people I have met.  I really feel like I have come home and to quote the words from one of my favourite films….”but not to a home that I have ever known!”  I want everyone to feel the love and wonder that I have felt but at the same time I don’t want everyone to know as it was so special!!!  That sounds incredibly selfish but I am sure some of you will know what I mean! 

I want to be a better person and hope that this will lead to me actually doing something useful with my life!  I have NEVER cried so much in my life!  But I understand that happens to newbies!  My eyes stayed red and my cheeks were actually burnt for several days afterwards.

I was completely spaced out for days afterwards and could not really talk to anyone about it except Pat and the others on TS and my dear new friends at Ki-Lin.  How would anyone understand????? 

Days later of course, I came crashing down, of course I did – you cant ride those peaks without coming down the other side, but OMG thank you to whoever lead me in this direction. 

I may be found wanting but I so know what I need to learn more about.  Who knows where it will lead, if anywhere at all but goodness me. I am a lucky girl and I have at last seen some real magic in the world. 

As an aside, I don’t think I should have driven home!!!!! Completely missed the Brighton My Pass and ended up driving along the seafront on a glorious sunny evening until we passed a statue of an Angel, just as a song about angels came on my stereo and the tears flowed again!  Took us 3 hours to get home – took 2 hour going!!!!

Angels ARE amongst us I know that now! Earthbound as well as celestial.